There are many people in toxic relationships. It’s easy to say, “why don’t you leave!?” These relationships are hard for some people to understand, yet they will condemn a person that is in one.
The hardest thing to do is to escape from a toxic abusive (mentally or physically) relationship.
Stop asking why is she so weak and stupid to stay in an abusive relationship. There is just no answer that you could understand unless you have been in one.
Do not judge her. Your judgment will only shame her more. She needs support.
Only she will understand…
“I wanted to leave, I didn’t know how …”
An abuser never shows their true colors until they have you in their clutches. He portrays himself as a gentle, kind, compassionate soul, a man you would be proud to introduce to your family and friends.
He pays attention to you by making you feel like you are the only girl in the universe for him. He makes you feel loved.
The red flag only starts to show months later, when he begins to breaks into your character and drops sly snide remarks and tells you your hair doesn’t look nice or the dress you have put on doesn’t suit you, why did you say that or do that, it was wrong. Your friends are not real friends. He begins to criticize them, as well. All this is to break your spirit, make you feel insecure, and control you.
If you discuss his attitude with him, he responds by saying it is just a joke or you crazy you take everything so serious. So you let it slide.
His behavior doesn’t stop; it keeps happening more frequently. He may tell you that he doesn’t really mean some of the things he said. Nothing is his fault; you are too sensitive. Why didn’t you considered him before you said or did anything that triggered him off? Nothing you do is good enough anymore.
You feel worn down from always being on guard for the next attack. You start to doubt yourself and think that you are just being too sensitive.
You realize that you always catch him in his lies and again you know you have caught him out yet you still doubt yourself.
You want to leave. You can’t sleep at night thinking about leaving the situation you in. Then again, you are starting thinking about where you would go, and if you can afford to be on your own.
He broke you down so much that you are insecure about who you are. You haven’t been in contact with your friends because of him, so now you feel isolated. At this point, you probably think you need him.
Unfortunately, a woman in an abusive relationship like this cannot leave until she finds herself and her voice.
If you know someone that is going through a toxic, abusive relationship, please support her. She will be dealing with the after-effects of this hell that she had to live in long after he is out of her life.
If you have or are going through an emotional, mental, or a physical abuse relationship, or possibly trying to cope with the after-effects, remember you are not alone.
PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder ) is often caused by relationship trauma experience over a long period of time which could interfere with your daily functioning.
You took the first step to leave so you will be okay. Life can only get better. Please be easy on yourself, you will take time to heal.
Remember You Are Worthy, don’t let your experience spoil the happiness that you deserve.