Women stay with men who make them feel valued.
She needs to feel your attentiveness. She needs you to ask questions and show that you care about what she’s done that day, going through and feeling. Its about taking an interest in the person she is and not just the job she does for you.
Many of us have been there. We have felt the increasing void within as someone we love treated us with indifference. We have started questioning our value and even felt that deep, gut wrenching realization that it’s not us but the relationship we should be questioning.
Women work exceptionally hard at their relationships. We will bend ourselves in every direction and contort our entire lives to try to save a sometimes sinking ship. Whereas before it may have been that women were left feeling we could not leave an unhappy relationship.
So why do women leave men they still love?
For many women it’s about being tired of feeling like an option to their partner. They live their lives, doing the best they can and feel as though their partner never shows up for them. It’s not that these men are necessarily bad men. They take their women for granted and fail to show up in meaningful ways that will show their appreciation and love.
THEY FEEL ALONE.
A woman needs to feel that she matters. If her man is not there to support her, there is no reason to continue a relationship.
THEY ARE NOT BEING ACKNOWLEDGED.
There is nothing more detrimental to a woman than not being fully present when she is speaking. A woman is moved by words. She needs to feel that she is understood, accepted, respected and supported.
THEY NO LONGER FEEL SEXY.
A woman needs intimacy, foreplay, and the feeling of being completely desired by her man. A woman wants spontaneity. She craves to be romanced.
THERE IS A SIGNIFICANT LIFE CHANGE.
Midlife hits everyone differently. Most women do not require a new car or fancy clothes. They need to know that they are sexy and wanted by their men. Menopause starts to creep into the picture, and what was once easily tolerated is no longer. Life changes: Children leave to college; a parent needs full time care; or financial stress is present. Women who overcome cancer or other illnesses also find a reset button that pushes the men out of their lives. A woman needs to know that these life changes are being navigated with strength and dignity alongside her man. When there is no support, a woman will quickly disassemble her life to get rid of her man.
THEIR MAN IS NOT PHYSICALLY THERE.
A woman needs a partner who will work along her side and appreciate her presence. When a man is more interested in spending time any place but next to her, she will cut him loose. It might take time, but the longer she postpones it the worst it is in the end. She knows it is over when there is nothing spiritually and intellectually available.
Women have evolved in our society. The “need” to have a man is surpassed by a “desire” to share a life with him. When there is no love, appreciation, touch, spiritual connection, intellectual stimulation, or presence, a woman will choose to be alone. Women work just as hard as men. To tolerate a companionship that is not stimulating is no longer on the agenda. It’s a reality check that it is time to move on.
Whether you are married, in a long term relationship or living together, the act of being together does not make your partner your property. What it took to get her, it takes to keep her. Does not have to be about fancy dinners or expensive gifts. This is about giving her your attention. This is about truly witnessing her and not just nodding, smiling and doing what is needed to placate her in the moment.
Attention comes in many forms. She wants to feel the passion come from you as you touch her, worship her. She wants you to show that her pleasure is just as important to you as your own.
We all need to be seen and heard and feel that we are important and the truth of the matter is that it doesn’t take hours to do any of these things. Commit to 10 minutes a day and watch the transformation that takes place. Watch as she brightens and suddenly comes alive! She will flourish in all of her roles including the role of your partner. Once you get a taste of your woman when she feels valued you will never go back.
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