Understanding Why I kept Ending Up In Toxic Relationships


There have been plenty of times that I have asked myself why I keep landing up in the same situation.

Once I realized that the partners I was choosing were toxic, I realized these 11 essential things.

1. Some people don’t get me.

Some people are just not into the things I like. Be it my career or music I enjoy, or even that I have a tendency to babble on about the things I love. That would mean I have to walk away as the person does not truly get me. 

2. I Cannot be the only one keeping the relationship alive.

If I like a person, I do not have a problem texting first, even letting them know that I would like to keep seeing them, maybe also ask them out. Yet if it means that I am the only one making an effort, then I need to walk away so the other person can also initiate contact. If not, then I need to move on.

3. I should not have to overthink everything.

If I have to overthink a dating situation, it probably means that it is not the right person. I should not have to worry 24/7 about their feelings or what they are thinking about me or if they are thinking about me. It should just flow.

4. Know when you unhappy.

If I can’t focus and keep questioning myself about this person in my life. I have to learn to trust my gut instinct. They are not the right one.

5. Being yourself.

The first date should really give me an idea if it is viable to pursue or not. If I am not sure after the first date, then I should forget about a second date. I’m not talking about the nervousness or the awkwardness on the first date, but if I can’t be myself around them and they don’t look comfortable, it is not worth seeing them again. 

6. Don’t rush into a relationship.

I shouldn’t feel pressured to having a successful love life. Just because my friends are in a relationship doesn’t mean I have to be in one. It is not a competition. I should rather be alone until I meet the right person where we can both be happy.

7. Communication is important.

Sitting waiting for a person to text or call is not healthy. If the person does not message me back within a reasonable time frame, they are not interested. If they can’t have a stimulating conversation with me, then it is not worth pursuing either.

8. Meeting for drinks.

Enjoying the conversation and company when meeting a person for drinks does not mean that they are good. People put on a front and say things I want to hear. I just have to be more cautious.

Conclusion: Instead of dating a toxic person…

If a situation is not good, there are two choices; stay until it gets worse or leave, let it go. We need to feel good about ourselves and feel good in the company we keep. There will always be another person to date. we will find love; it’s all about timing and attitude. 

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