There Are Three Types of Loneliness and None of Them Are Caused By Being Alone


Buddhists have the saying that Loneliness is a good thing as it is part of our fundamental human nature.

Since no one can guarantee your happiness, it would be good to make friends with your Loneliness and embrace it. When you befriend your Loneliness and get to know yourself, you will learn to relax in the present. 

Don’t push away uncomfortable emotions; instead, work through them. It is part of being alive and human. Work through them without fear.

We all need relationships with other people regardless of the type of relationship you have. As humans, we depend on each other for survival.

You can have many friends you still feel lonely as there are different kinds of friendships such as confidantes versus acquaintances.

If you only have acquaintances and no one whom you can confide in or be authentic, then you could also experience Loneliness.

Firstly you have to make friends with your self to understand your self.

Being alone and being lonely isn’t the same. Loneliness feels distracting, draining, and upsetting; desired solitude feels peaceful, creative, restorative.

It isn’t a lack of connection that makes you lonely, its lack of authentic connection

Isolation and Loneliness doesn’t happen from physical distance or lack of interaction. It happens cause of the abundance of shallow daily interaction. The problem is that many relationships are not meeting your needs for meaningful, authentic connections: those deep connections and mental stimulations.

Once you’ve pinpointed the particular Loneliness you’re experiencing; it may be easier to address it.

The fact that there are 3 different types of Loneliness can help you understand why you may feel lonely even though you have good relationships.

1. Relational/social Loneliness

The desire for quality friendships and social support and companionship.

2. Intimate/emotional Loneliness

The yearning for a close intimate partner and confidante. Someone with whom you can share a mutual bond of trust and affection.

3. Collective Loneliness

The yearning for a community or network of people with whom you can share your interests and purpose.

Not everyone encounters Loneliness in the situations detailed. Not everyone wants a romantic partner, yet for some, the lack of individual relationships brings Loneliness. But as humans, high-quality communicative connections help humans to thrive. 

To be happy, humans need intimate bonds and a trustworthy person to confide in, who can give support and comfort you need.

The lack of any of the above points can make you feel lonely. That also explains why you can have a supportive marriage, yet you still feel lonely for friends.

The basics of connecting with other people is a connection with yourself first.

Learn to understand your own unique worth. What do you feel, think? What are your interests? 

Once you have realized why you feel lonely, then you can work on ways to address it.

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