Ahh, Love… they say it makes the world go ’round. Does it? Does it always make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Or does it sometimes cause problems in our relationships?
Love is complicated. Whenever you find yourselves in a serious relationship, you want to know if it’s the real thing or if you’re just trying to convince yourself it’s the real thing.
As humans, you will experience a variety of loves. You can love your friends and family in different ways than what you feel for your significant other. Yet, it is still hard to tell if you are truly in Love or what you are actually feeling.
Perhaps the reality is that you all need to truly learn what Love isn’t before you can grasp what it is. The belief is that you can fall in Love with three people throughout your life, and where each one plays a particular role.
Check out the three types of Love all humans experience, and see if you can relate:
1. Fairy Tale Love – It’s a love that looks right.
The fairy tale love is exactly as it sounds, ‘fairy tale.’ That is the type of Love you would see in movies and books. It is the Love you yearned to have and falsely thought it would be easy to find. The Love that looked perfect on paper and movies.
Often your first Love is when you are young and probably in school; the idealistic Love, the Love that appeals to you, and what you should be doing for society’s sake.
You believe that this Love will be your only Love, and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel quite right. Deep down, you believe that this is what Love is supposed to be, as it is essential how others view you rather than how you actually feel.
2. Misconception Love – The hard Love.
The hard Love catches you off guard and completely demolishes any preconceived notions you had about Love.
The Love that tends to teach you more about yourself than they would like to know, and it can be incredibly transformative, as it teaches you how you want to be or need to be loved. It is the Love that hurts, whether through pain, lies, or manipulation.
Unlike the fairy tale Love, it looks terrible on and doesn’t make any sense to you at all. The connection you feel to that person is complicated to explain. It makes you feel uneasy at times, yet you think it’s the real deal.
Often it is one you keep repeating because you think that somehow the ending will be different, yet it only gets worse. It may be unbalanced, manipulative, abusive, or narcissistic, be it mental or physical. It is what keeps you addicted because of the emotional roller coaster. You will stick through the lows with the expectation of the highs.
3. Lasting Love – You never saw coming
The Love that came so easily you never saw it coming. It usually looks wrong and could destroy any lingering ideals you clung to about what Love is supposed to be. The Love that just fits without any expectations, acting, or pressure.
It is the Love where you are accepted for who you are. The Love that doesn’t have to be how you thought for it to be true.
It’s the Love that will keep knocking on your door regardless of how long it takes you to answer.
Maybe you don’t experience all these loves in this lifetime.
It could be because you weren’t ready. Perhaps the reality is you need to truly learn what Love isn’t before you can grasp it.
It is possible that you need a lifetime to learn each lesson, or you are one of the lucky ones that it only takes a few years. Maybe you are not ready for Love, or Love is not ready for you.
I hope you are one of the lucky ones who made it to their third Love without having to beat themselves up wondering if there is something inherently wrong with how they love. Maybe you’re fortunate to have found their first Love was their last Love.
Passion and Lust are two different emotions.
Don’t get the two emotions confused, as they can take you in two different directions. Passion is an intense emotion of enthusiasm and Love. However, Lust indicates a strong desire for satisfaction and pleasure.
Remember that just because it never worked out for you before, it doesn’t mean it won’t work out for you in the future. The truth is, you will never know when you will stumble into the one you never saw coming, the one that actually lasts, or the one that shows you why it never worked out before.