Being a people pleaser is a sign of having little or no self-respect.
On a day off, you are busy relaxing when someone asks you to do things for them, yet you really need to chill and unwind or even do something for yourself that you have put off. Alternatively, you could have just finished running around for everyone else on your day off when it was supposed to be your day.
That, my dear, is what happens when you are a people pleaser who needs to consider themselves first in order to get some self-respect. It is time to set some boundaries, say no, and reclaim your personal independence over your own life.
It is not what people will think of you that matters; what matters is what you think of yourself!
Self-respect is honoring your own worth, preserving your dignity, and taking pride in your abilities. It means you are worthy of being treated fairly and respectfully.
Without self-respect, you are susceptible to being mistreated, abused, and used by people. Being a person who is a people pleaser who lacks self-respect, you will find that you are often a target of narcissists and egomaniacs who will enjoy using you.
Ultimately, having self-respect is vital because it impacts every area of your life.
Let me give you a picture of what self-respect looks like;
Self-respect refuses to be spoken to offensively.
Self-respect knows that you need to be treated well.
Self-respect has set boundaries with people around you.
Self-respect is saying ‘no’ to unreasonable requests.
Self-respect not accepting lies.
Self-respect is cutting ties with people around you who are untrustworthy and no dependable.
Self-respect is not accepting anything less when you know your worth.
Self-respect is not compromising your values.
Advantages of self-respect: The foundations of self-respect is self-love and self-care.
You feel empowered by saying ‘no’ and having boundaries.
You feel happy and fulfilled in every aspect of your life and relationships.
You choose better friends.
You gain power and authority over your life.
You honor your desires, values, and needs.
You feel equality with others.
In a nutshell, the advantage of having self-respect is that you will have more energy to dedicate time to yourself and to be able to fulfill your goals and dreams. Remember that all habits take time and endurance to break.
Below are five simple practices to help you stop being a people-pleaser.
Detach from people’s opinions of you – Other people’s opinions of you are nothing but perception, filtered through their expectations and beliefs.
Set boundaries – Don’t change yourself; change the people.
Assertive communication – express yourself with clarity and confidence, learned to say no with grace, without offending anyone.
Allow you to be you – Your perfect imperfections make you unique and special.
How to say no without offending anyone;
It does not work for me at the moment.
I have too much going on at the moment.
I appreciate you thinking of me, but I can’t at the moment.
It is too bad I’m busy, but let me know how it turns out.
No thanks, but it sounds terrific.
In life, you need people, yet you don’t need to be emotionally needy.