Setting Boundaries – Introverts Struggling With Being Social

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Do you struggle with being social? People, in general, don’t understand why you struggle with being social, but to change that, you need to set healthy boundaries.

Being an introvert, you will understand that making alone time is where you recharge and balance yourself, yet asking for that space is uncomfortable.

This is where setting boundaries come into play. Learn how to set boundaries in a manner that is structured, specific, and very clear. Don’t feel guilty or bad that you let other people down while taking time out alone. After all, it is for your benefit, as well as for others, as they will benefit in the long run.

Setting boundaries will provide you with the physical and mental space you need to increase the quality of time you invest in every sector of your life.


A boundary signifies the beginning and the end. It is a statement you set in action letting other people know when it is ok with you or when it is not.

You will feel mentally, physically drained if you don’t get your alone time (space). You may also feel irritable and disconnected. Therefore, you need to set boundaries. 

It’s best if you prioritized setting boundaries with your friends, employers, and colleagues. Let them know that you are introverted and require solitude to recharge.

Setting boundaries can be challenging when transitioning, as some people will respect your boundaries immediately while others need time to adjust.

While you set your boundaries in place, you should also comply with them. Turn your phone off. Don’t answer the door. You could head out to a park, beach, or a quiet coffee shop. Whatever you do, please don’t break your boundaries, or it will take longer for others to adjust.

 What drains you the most?

Hectic days can leave you feeling drained; therefore, you should define what activities drain you the most so that you can schedule ahead of time to get alone time (space).

Here is an example of planning ahead can work for you.

After a hectic day at work, you could probably ask your partner to pick the children up from their activities so that you get a few more minutes to unwind. Allow others to take some of your responsibilities off you so you can recharge. Do not allow guilt to creep in. Caring is sharing!

Plan dinner a little later so you can unwind, and everyone would probably enjoy their meal more as your heart will be into cooking dinner after your alone time.

Saying “No!”

Learn to say “no” to people who drain your energy and to things that make you feel overwhelmed. You’re under no obligation to say “yes” unless you truly want to. Again don’t feel guilty about saying “no.” It is hard to say “no,” especially when you are so used to saying “yes.” It is part of setting healthy boundaries for you.

Listen to your body and your gut, as it will be able to assess whether it is something you would like to do. It is perfectly fine to decline things that you don’t enjoy doing or don’t have the energy. Look at your schedule to see if you have the energy and time to do fit it in.

Remember, even if you would like to as if it is something you would typically enjoy. Don’t commit if you are tired before the event; you won’t enjoy it as it won’t be the same.

Compromising your boundaries will happen, especially when a loved one is sick, and you need to be there to help. So yes, the goal is to ensure compromise is the exception, not the rule.

Extra time and space can definitely improve your quality of life in every aspect.

Boundaries are based on knowing your priorities, needs, and values.

People who get upset by your boundaries may not have your best interest at heart. If the people are important to you, talk them through it, so they can better understand your limitations.

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