Are you a good man or a nice guy?
If this seems to you like an odd question, you should read this article. There is a difference between these two.
A nice guy will tell you a pretty lie, in order to avoid the discomfort of telling you an ugly truth. But, good men will tell you the truth, however unpleasant, because that’s part of his integrity.
A nice guy will do some nice things with unspoken expectations. For example, he will take a woman on a date, and he will expect to get something in return. But, good men do things without expectation of a payoff. He is acting following his core values. And if he receives a return, it will merely be a bonus.
A nice guy will be worried about his reputation. But good men will be only concerned with their character.
A nice guy fears of being rejected, so he seeks validation. But, good men are self-validated. He does not tie his worth, no matter if he is rejected or accepted.
A nice guy will just cloak his intentions, and will also be unclear. The good man will be upfront about his intentions. He will have clear aims. He does not leave a space for ambiguity.
A nice guy has loose boundaries and he will also bend over backward in order to seem nice. But, the good man has his boundaries clear. In that way, he earns the respect of other people that surround him.
A nice guy will smoother his current love interests and will make the woman the center of his universe. But, the good man will give her an appropriate attention, without becoming overbearing or take over the life of that woman.
A nice guy will often blame other people or circumstance, as well as the fate for his lost in life. But a good man will recognize his role and will also take responsibility for his actions.
Nice guys will often make some lofty promises, to look good in front of the girl. But good men will only make the promises which he will be able to keep.
Nice guys usually want to play the role of knight in shining armor, but this will quickly disappear when sh*t gets real. Good men know that it is not their job to rescue anyone. They will just show up and have the other person’s back when they need that.
A nice guy will discard anything, as well as anyone that is not useful for them anymore. But, a good man will show respect towards the other person’s inherent dignity. He will kindly treat them, even when they do not have any role or purpose in his life-plan anymore.
A nice guy has the lack of leadership abilities and he is content when he lets other people lead his life. But, a good man will take serious charge of his life. He will also become the master of his fate.
A nice guy will do anything not to hurt the feelings of someone. But the good man will realize that sometimes, even the kindest thing may hurt. But eventually, it will be helpful.
A nice guy will often say what other people want to hear, but the good man will say what they need to hear.
A nice guy does not have the habit of apologizing when he is wrong. He thinks that it makes him weak. But, a good man is quick with apologies and fast with reparations.
The nice guy will live in service of himself, as well as his desires. The good man will live in service of humanity.
The nice guy is concerned with appearances and etiquette. While the good man is concerned with character and morality only.
A nice guy will take the easy road, but the good man is committed to his development. He will do the work to become a better man. The good man will realize that he is not going to get there if he takes the shortcuts, in life, relationships, or even business.
The good man will do no work, and he will reap the benefits. The nice guy will look on with envy.
So, if you are a good man, thanks a lot. The world will need more of you. If you have a good man next to you — keep him.
Inspired by Lisa Vallejos, PhD www.lisavallejos.com