People spend more than half of their life, worrying about what other people think. It ends with you feeling miserable because you don’t feel good enough for anyone.
Some people tend to think of the worst possible things a person could think about them, which takes a mental toll on them. Therefore, it is crucial to identify when you start thinking negatively and accept what you’re experiencing. It is possible by changing your perspective and letting go.
People tend to care too much about others because their happiness depends on the quality of their relationships. They want to be in their good books to develop and nurture their relationships with them. Your worrying about what other people think stems from the fear that you could be deprived of friends or intimacy.
Here are five steps to help break the habit of worrying about what others think.
Step 1: Mindfully recognize when it happens.
Mindfulness is an empowerment tool that helps you control your thoughts, emotions, and actions. You have to pay purposeful attention to the present moment without being judgmental. It is all about noticing the feelings and thoughts that you’re having. It stops you from worrying by giving you time to analyze the situation and choose an appropriate response.
Step 2: Practice acceptance and self-compassion.
Hiding away from uncomfortable feelings will not help you to process your emotions. Ignoring emotions won’t send them away. But if you accept the emotion you’re experiencing in a particular moment; it will help the emotion run its course. It is a very self-compassionate approach.
Step 3: Challenge your core beliefs.
Whenever you have a belief, your mind comes up with ways to prove that it is true. It’s done by excluding all evidence to the contrary. It’s better for you if you stopped that. When you come across a core belief, you need to think of the reasons why this belief is false. Have a list consisting of all the evidence to the contrary and use it whenever you’re thinking negatively about yourself.
Step 4: Reframe the situation.
You obsess over negative thoughts about how people think of you. But what you have to understand is that people don’t think about you as much as you think they do. Everyone is busy thinking about themselves. It is a waste of time to worry about how you look in the eyes of others. When you think about others, in reality, you are thinking about yourself. By reframing the situation, you will see things from a new perspective.
Step 5: Let go
After completing the above steps, the final thing to do is to let go. Think about how holding on affects you. If it affects you negatively, then let go. Bring your attention back to the present. It is quite similar to meditation. You notice, acknowledge, comeback, rinse, and repeat.
In a nutshell:
Think about the reason why you care.
Focus on being in the moment.
Practice self-love and acceptance.
Find your tribe, in other words, your group of people.
Remember that you can’t please everyone.
Not everyone will like you.
Acknowledge that life is short.
If you are always worried about what other people think, you will never get to where you are meant to be in life. You’ll never have the will to do what’s right for you!