Love that relies on conditions is not very sustainable. You can’t treat love as if it were a switch that you could turn on and off whenever you wanted.
So many people seem to repeat the same relationship stories over and over throughout their lives. They look different at first, yet before you know it, you’re right back where we were, dealing with the same issues you swore you would fall for again.
However, it does not have to be that way.
Have you experienced this? Do you keep dating the same sort of person? Maybe you keep finding friendships that makes you feel uncomfortable, taken advantage of, not listened to, or brings out the worst in you.
To break unhealthy relationship patterns, you first need to heal your emotional wounds and develop a love for yourself.
Below are four tips on how to cultivate self-love and change your relationship patterns.
1. Become the observer.
Be conscious of your thoughts, observe them, and recognize destructive patterns. Then shift your thinking. The barriers in your mind make it impossible for you to see things as they really are. It is you who stands in your own way.
Tools such as meditation and mindfulness help us to develop awareness about our thoughts.
You can even write down the flow of your thoughts to observe what your mind produces. When you space yourself from your thoughts, you can find peace within yourself.
2. Find ease in your aloneness.
To find ease in being alone, you first need to feel comfortable with yourself and in your own presence. Quiet your mind and simply exist within your breath. Then you can move from a place of insecurity to a place of self-love.
When you are extremely comfortable with yourself, you will feel at ease in your relationship. Then you will be able to find an open flow of mutual love and acceptance.
3. See the love all around.
Stop being concerned about the people who treat you unkindly. Focus on the love that exists around you and within you. Don’t think about what you’re lacking; instead, pay attention to the flow of love that is always available.
When you stop focusing on what is missing and focus on what is right in front of you, you reach a higher level of awareness and attract good people and situations.
4. Practicing presence, trust, and surrender.
If you focus on the present, you are able to move with the flow of life. Always choose the higher path of acceptance. You should have the self-respect to walk away from an unhealthy relationship or situation.
By trusting, you let go and allow the beauty of life to flow through you. Trust your path, and it will make it easier for you to let go. You release an attachment when you surrender. True love can only be achieved through healing your emotional wounds, changing your patterns, and loving yourself unconditionally.
Don’t be afraid of getting into a new relationship.
You will learn something new with everyone, which is the whole point of life anyway; to live and learn, love, make mistakes and go forward.
Should you find yourself back in a bad relationship, then it means you haven’t gone through the process, and you may need to learn something from this one. Take time to correct the course; reflex, recognize, understand, and clarify, then move forward.
It’s so crucial that you not only believe you can have what you desire in your life but that you can actually TAKE ACTION to create it.