Some people can’t see their mistakes and would move mountains to convince you that it was your fault. A good example is when someone screams in an argument to get their point across as they are on the brink of hysterical. If they were not in the wrong they would be able to discuss the point calmly, wouldn’t they?
When in this situation, you must see it for what it is. It wasn’t your fault, and you shouldn’t take the blame purely to keep the peace. You are a stronger character, and you should treat yourself accordingly. Instead, walk away than be willing to take responsibility.
Being in a situation like this could be rather unpleasant. You really can’t fix broken. If the person discussed has time to reflect on the situation, they would be able to see it for what it is. If they don’t, they simply won’t. You cant kill fire with oil.
Manipulation is quite common, learn to identify it, and you will not be on the receiving end of it.
How do we fall into this trap:
Being able to manipulate is hard work and usually takes quite some practice. Don’t feel bad, as this person has probably used this trick many times before. These people are often tricksters who choose their victim before the game begins. The victim, usually a caring, soft person, is easy prey. The manipulator can make you feel like it’s best you do without what they need, even if you might need it more, you’ll hand it over.
They often have an attitude of you owe them. You had a better upbringing, and you had more chances, you have a better job, earn more money, do you get the picture?
So you give in because of the guilt that is laid thick- this is manipulation. It is a skilled craft, a great business formula.
Even though you’ll let this happen to you over and over again and often by the same person, you have to see it for what it is. Stop this behavior immediately. They won’t stop, and you are an easy target. Get them out of your life, block the numbers, move if you have to because you’ll end up hurt, abused and they could destroy your faith in people.
It is good to help, but you can’t help everyone. There maybe someone who desperately needs your help, yet these people have made you hard. Don’t become that person.
I have learnt from experience with a person like this, if you feed the beggar, they will stay on the street. Allow them to feel the pressure so that they are forced to knock on the door of the shelter where there are qualified people to help and rehabilitate them.