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Enlightened Consciousness


9 Ways You May Unconsciously Deny Yourself of Love and Fulfillment

Emotional hunger is different to love. It’s a strong emotional need that is caused by deprivation in childhood. It’s a condition of pain and longing which people often act out in a desperate struggle to fill a void or emptiness.

Here we talk of 9 signs that depict the fact that you have developed an attachment to deprivation, unintentionally setting yourself up to feel unfulfilled.

1. You don’t express your own needs.
You refuse to speak up and express what you need, which guarantees deprivation. Many people let others ignore them, take advantage of them, and take them for granted because they are not willing to voice things.

2. You focus on the needs of others.
Here you put other people’s needs above yours and neglect your needs. It is unfair to you. It can lead to emotional torture and resentment.

3.You feel guilty when you do things for yourself.
Feeling guilty when doing something for yourself shows that you don’t believe that you deserve to have your needs met. You feel as if it is wrong to do so. 

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4. You can’t take compliments.
Refusing compliments indicates that you are someone who deprives you of being appreciated.

5. You’re attracted to self-centered and emotionally unavailable people.
It is something that ensures that your needs are not met. When you get close to narcissistic people or emotionally unavailable ones, you will end up spending the rest of your life suffering from emotional deprivation. 

6. You expect disappointment.
It keeps you away from fulfillment. You face situations expecting disappointment because it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

7. You’re confused about what you want or what your purpose is in life.
Not knowing what you want in life is a way of avoiding your purpose. For you to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life, you need a sense of purpose.

8. You tend to shy away from intimacy.
You don’t allow yourself to be happy by avoiding close relationships and deep connections.

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9. You can’t enjoy the moment.
Self-deprivation also occurs when you don’t live in the moment and enjoy it. Enjoying every moment here and now reduces stress and creates fulfillment. 

Various reasons could make you unconsciously deny yourself love and fulfillment. It can develop in early childhood where the primary caregiver was not emotionally supportive. It is different from physical deprivation as you could have had all your physical needs met, yet your emotional need was ignored.

When children’s needs are not met, they can feel invisible and uncared for, therefore failing to connect to those around them. They keep trying to make those around them like them. They feel flawed and feel that something is wrong with them. Most people are unaware of the reasons. Hence they are unable to express themselves emotionally. So often, they feel misunderstood, alone, empty, invisible, or cheated.

Look out for the signs of a deprivation attachment in your life.

The first step to recovery is to become aware of your emotional needs. You need to get people to understand that emotional needs are natural and normal; adults also need care, protection, and empathy just like children. You need to learn to choose the right people and ask for what you need appropriately. Try not to discourage people from meeting your needs.

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