Your mother loves you and cares about you from the day you came into this world. But not every mother is the same. Some mothers gaslight you, even though they don’t realize what they are doing. It’s considered as a psychological manipulation and a way of invalidation.
It is essential to understand that nobody, not even a parent is perfect; we are all inherently flawed as humans. Life does not come with instructions.
A gaslighter may not be fully aware or may refuse to acknowledge that their behavior is the problem, even in therapy.
At a point in life, we are all going to do something that can negatively affect our kids. Regardless, it is vital to be able to spot signs of a gaslighting parent.
On that note, gaslighting merits cautioning as it is an extreme form of toxic parental behavior.
When the term gaslighting comes up in a conversation, many people don’t seem to know what it actually means.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological as well as emotional abuse where one person manipulates another into thinking things aren’t how they think they are. To put it mildly, gaslighters make their target believe that they are crazy.
If you find yourself thinking you’re crazy, questioning your reality, feeling a heightened anxiety level, and forever apologizing, you just may be getting gas lit. It will make you question your worth as well as having trouble making decisions.
Gaslighting is a twisted exercise in power, control, and manipulation.
If the list below is typical behavior from your mother, then you must understand that it shouldn’t be disregarded as a mere coincidence or a harmless gesture. Gaslighting can potentially harm people’s future.
The 9 Signs Of Gaslighting.
1. She isn’t excited about your success
If your mother is gaslighting you, then she will not encourage you to achieve your goals. Instead, she will be disappointed every time you find success. Your mother will definitely undermine your achievements.
2. She makes you question the past
If you try to talk to your mother regarding a bad memory from the past, she might disagree with you. Instead, she will dismiss you and disagree about the fact that it ever happened.
3. Her actions don’t match her words
If your mother is a gaslighter, then her actions will be the opposite of her words. There is so much dishonesty that will affect your upbringing. If you pay close attention to her actions instead of her words, you will notice this quality.
4. She downplays your feelings
A mother who gaslights you will make you question your perception related to an experience. This then leads the child to doubt himself/herself, thus ensuring that they can’t be accountable for themselves even as adults.
5. Your mom tries to compete with you
Your mom might try to compete with you, to an extent where you feel like she is more of a sister than your mother. She might try to become friends with your friends just to compete with you.
6. She projects her problems onto you
Imagine your mother lied to you, but she will end up accusing you of lying to her. Your mother projects her problems and feelings onto you, which will take you by surprise.
7. She compares you to your siblings
Here your mother might compare you to her favorite child and point out your weaknesses. It harms your self-esteem and future relationships.
8. You don’t feel fulfilled
It makes no difference what you accomplish in life; you don’t feel as fulfilled as your peers. Your achievements don’t make you happy. It gives you a feeling of being unsettled in life.
9. You always second guess yourself
With the influence of a gaslighting mother, you have a tough time making decisions. You have difficulties figuring out how you actually feel. It creates a person who is unable to trust their own perceptions.
If you acknowledge any of the signs listed above, it may help explain a lot, according to experts, and it may even help improve your relationship.
To prevent gaslighting from having an impact on you, you should work on rebuilding your self-esteem. Remind yourself that you are loveable and a capable person, regardless of the judgment of the gaslighter.
You might be a victim of gaslighting, or you may even be doing some gaslighting subconsciously.