10 Things That May Not Seem Like Emotional Abuse But Are

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Emotional abuse messes with your mind; physical abuse is more prominent. Emotional abuse leaves you wondering if you are overreacting or reading the situation wrong.

Emotional abuse can slow but surely creep in and leave you thinking you are crazy or going crazy

Regardless if it is an emotional or physically abusive relationship, both are unhealthy relationships to be in!

If you’re not sure, below are 10 things that indicate that emotional abuse is happening to you;

1. Your partner gets upset when you talk about your relationship with family and friends.

Your partner cuts you off from your support system; therefore, they are visibly upset every time you talk about your relationship troubles with friends. If your friends suggest that you leave your partner, your partner will try to control you by placing guilt trips on you.

2. Your partner regularly gets you to cancel your plans with family and friends.

Your partner disguises their emotional abuse by telling you they care, yet frequently tries to isolate you from your loved ones. That is considered emotional abuse. 

3. Your partner calls possessive and jealousy, “Love.”

Your partner tells you what to do; in other words, taking control of you. To cover-up, they will try to convince you that they are acting this way because they love you so much. They tell you they only want the best for you, yet it is all about control.

4. Your partner belittles you all the time.

Your partner tells you, you’re living your life wrong and points out your insecurities. They belittle you about everything you do. They make everything sound negative; unless they think you are leaving them, then they will suck up big time. 

5. Your partner continuously points out your mistakes.

A sign of emotional abuse is when your partner always reminds you of the mistakes you make. It lowers your self-esteem so that you believe that you are a complete failure, which gives them control over you.

6. Your partner acts like a victim.

Your partner hardly ever admits they are wrong. They tend to reverse the story so that they look like the victim.

7. Your partner squashes your dreams.

Your partner does not allow you to follow your dreams as they want your world to be small to ensure they have a place in it, as they are very insecure and don’t want you to leave them for a better life.

8. Your partner is unpredictable.

Your partner moody and unpredictable and leaves you feeling like you are walking on eggshells. 

9. Your partner is behaving cruelly.

Your partner picks on your insecurities and keeps saying terrible, cruel things to you, yet brushes it off as teasing. They are insecure about themselves, and they want you to feel just as vulnerable and weak.

10. Your partner humiliates and compares you to others.

Your partner’s bullying never seems to stop. They never stop comparing you to your friends and humiliating you in front of others. They don’t want anyone else to be interested in you as they don’t want you to leave them.

Conclusion.

It is impossible to reason with an emotional abuser about their behavior. There are times when they will admit their wrongdoings and will beg for forgiveness yet will make empty promises to change.

An emotional abuser does never seem to change, and things will probably never change no matter what. Notice the signs and do what is best for you!

If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, please seek an experienced therapist who can help you identify the behavior as abuse, and heal.

Some points of behaviors that are potentially emotionally abusive – *(Please note that some of the behaviors could occur in a healthy context as well):

  • Intimidation
  • Manipulation
  • Blaming
  • Shaming
  • Name-calling
  • Insults
  • Put-downs
  • Sarcasm
  • Silent treatment
  • Sabotage
  • Gaslighting
  • Scapegoating
  • Blame-shifting
  • Projection
  • Ranking and comparing
  • Arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency
  • Threatening harm
  • Forced isolation

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